I am expecting... a girl! :D

I finally found out the sex of the baby... it's a girl!!!!!!!!!!! Alhamdulilah. InshaAllah she is born healthy and a good Muslimah, ameen.

So now I am thinking of names. These are what we have so far. Feel free to leave your suggestions. But remember, it has to be sensible in Arabic, and can't sound dirty or stupid in English either. Which alas, alot of Arabic girls names do.

ARABIC NAMES

Amatullah- female servant of Allah [I like]

Fatimah, Fatoum - accustom, Prophet Mohamed's daughter [I like]

Izdihar, Izdihaar - Flourishing, blossoming [I like]

Nashwa - Fragrance, perfume, that which intoxicates

Nuwayrah - Small fire

Sabriyah - Patient

Tamadur - Brilliant [I like]

PERSIAN NAMES

Afsahneh- A fairy tale [I like]

Roxanna- the dawn, Persian Princess married to Alexander the Great

And I guess I should add the names: Mariam, Khadijah, Asiya, Ruqayah, Zaenab, Narjis, Saffiyah, Sumaiya, Sara, Salma, Asma, Aisha, (most famous of the names) are already out, due to too many people I know having them. I am looking for less common and more beautiful sounding names, but I take into account meaning as well.

Asalaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto dear sisters,

This is just a post to highlight my personal and Islamic goals for this year. I usually make this list during Ramadaan, but fasting and studying Qu'ran along with all that cooking and visiting and tarweeah is hard enough during the holy month so I thought I'd get on it early. I want to give a special thanks to sister Um Aaminah [ anaashad.blogspot.com ] for her post "It's Okay I'm a Convert" which really spurred me on THIS month. Jazzakallkheir sis. And sis Zaenab from Stylish Muslimah for her vid of the minor signs of the day of judgement. LOL, sometimes I need that scare-factor to get my butt a-moving along. I am one of those people that start projects and doesn't finish them sooooo these were good reminders for me personally. Jazzakallahkheir girls!

1.) I know I am going to have a baby this year, and am going to be tired and what not, but my goal is to keep my house alot cleaner. I know this doesn't sound like an Islamic goal but really it is. I am trying to do alot more sunnahs in my day, and this one is one of them: basic cleanliness. I think it is difficult for me now because I have too much stuff. I am serrious. I manage to keep my husbands' stuff neat and tidy without struggle because he has four ghutrahs, 3 hats, 3 pairs of sandals, 1 pair of runners, 2 pairs of socks, 5 undergarment sets, and 4 thobes. Along with 3 pieces of excersise equipment and a small box of camping gear and tools we store outside. Whereas moi has a dozen house dresses, a bunch of Western clothes I almost never wear anymore because I don't have a place to, a dozen abayas (some I don't wear), 2 dozen shaylas (which I don't wear regularily, 5 niqabs (only 3 I wear regularily), party dresses which I wear not as often (maybe I can rent them out as they are expensive and I've rented other girls' dresses before?), and that's not even getting on all my books, and perfumes, and furnitures and knicknacks. Husband is content with alot less. A carpet and cushions and some mats to place food on for the living room. A bed and clean sheets and pillows for the room and a small sitting area with 2 mirrors, one for us both, ect. If I downsize things, it should be easier to clean. Ughhh, I am BAD at downsizing, but then I fondly remember my bachelor apartment and how neat and tidy that always was. InshaAllah carrying less pocessions is the cure. I am avoiding getting a maid at all costs. [This something nobody cares about except those who live in my house;) ]

2.) Pray all my sunnah prayers. This is something inner. I am trying but I struggle sometimes when I am in a rush and I travel alot.

3.) Pay off an old before I started practicing Islam serriously debt that has interest attached to it. Then I can start saving for hajj and finally go. I live so close, but there's no blessing really if I still have a sin attached me that requires dealing with. This is something inner because nobody knows about it but me [and now ya'll ;) so remind me if I sound like I am about to go off on a wild shopping spree for more furniture and clothes which I don't really need beyond some plain black cheaper abayas for hiking with husband--and he'll probably buy me those if I ask].

4.) After debt is paid, give more sadaqah. There's alot of fam's I know who can't afford meat, and alot of sisters who need things I already have, so before I buy more when I am not in need, I should check if there is someone out there who could use a few basics (and a nice thing once in a while). I have been poooooor before so I know it isn't nice to get something you'd never get for yourself. This is another inner thing, tied to #1.

5.) Understand my cats are just animals. I love them so much, but I think of them like children. I mean, when they pee on cushions because I forgot to leave the courtyard door open I get so mad at them, and they probably don't understand the yelling or me rubbing their faces close to the scent of their mess. And they can't defend themselves by going "Mama, your fault. We couldn't get outside and we tried and we asked you to open the door by meowing and you didn't hear us."

6.) Control my anger. I don't get angry very often, and I forgive very easily, but when I am angry I don't care to put myself in the other person's shoes. Bad, bad habit. I am getting better husband says. My inspiration is the baby. I don't want to raise it the way I was raised (no offense my parents, you did the best you could with eachother for mates and YOUR parents as examples). I mean, I don't want to call my child "stupid!" when he/she makes a small mistake, then it reinforces in them a kind of insecurity that has taken me years as an adult to overcome, plus a fear of intimacy.

7.) Stop listening to music. I have been good at this one since the pregnancy. Also, stop watching movies or TV that is questionable. I have thought of making my own edited DVDS lol, on a computer program. It is easier for than husband though, because there are more men on TV covering their awrah than there are women;). Please don't think I am extreme for this dear readers. It is a personal thing to do with my own conclusions over ahadith and Qu'ran;)

8.) Last year I stopped wearing the Gamboo3a (I had always thought it was makrooh) and more than neautral makeup and was careful to not wear abayas with alot of crystal. This year I am going to get 2 Islamiyia style ones made (I love them with dresses and skirts worn underneath, and a 1 abaya ras with sleeves. That is all my outer appearence needs cuz I already have more abayas than I need. And I guess new sandals because I murder sandals. 3 months, and then a decent quality sandal dies another death. This is an outer one because alot of Muslims notice this and think a sis is more pious cuz she wears niqab and abaya ras. Believe me, in my, it doesn't make a difference, but I am trying to live more simply and I don't have any non-Muslims to worry about being scared of me sooo....

9.) Try to bring Muslims that I know together more. When the ummah gets distant, divisions arise.

10.) Say bismillah for everything I am supposed to, alhamdulilah for everything I am supposed to, duas for the bathroom, and entering the home, going to sleep, waking up, and getting dressed. I've never concentrated serriously on this aspect of my daily life before.

Usually I make goals to study and learn more Qu'ran every year but suck at that. I have found what works best for me is settings aside 2-3 hours every friday to study and memorize some new ayahs and then using them all week. And I read English translations of the Qu'ran, 1 0r 2 surahs before bed. Better than just saying, I will do it in a big bold way.

One of the Sheikhs I know got his students to do this excersise in a lesson of Allah's mercy, keeping their results secret, where we were to list on our own, all our sins and our good deeds that we could think of easily from childhood to adulthood, and then rate them on a scale of 1-10 for how good or bad they were. Then we were supposed to tally our results, and then get rid of what we'd used to get our totals. Examining our totals, and keeping in mind Allah weighs all our good with our bad, none of use were satisfied with the good we had done in our lives up to this point. Every Muslims relies heavily on the mercy of Allah, and He is the Most Merciful, but the reason we'd had this excersise was to remind ourselves that there is always a reason to do more sunnah, to do more nafl acts, and concluded that even Rasoolulah prayed for forgiveness for himself, and that Allah would spare from punishment in the grave. When asked why he did this, when already promised Paradise, his answer was simple. "If I have been granted this, shouldn't I be even more thankful?" So those of us that haven't been granted such glad tidings.... Yep. Got me going on all the things I need to do. I liked the lesson because it was less aimed on what bad we had done, and more on, we have today, so what good can we do today? I mean, if the day of the lesson was the last one I had left on this earth, how many good deeds and extra acts of worship could I go out and do to try and tip the scales?

So those of you can't travel to Oman to have such Islamic classes (I wasn't enrolled in the class, I get the oppurtunity to be a guest occasionally thanks to friends who are absolutely insistant I finish my history degree and then get a masters in something Islamic or useful to the Ummah based) please have the benefit of this lovely lesson. And thank you to the Professer/Sheikh who really had us all smiling and working together to make our community better for that day:) no matter our different walks in life and stages of development in our Islamic studies.

Just for Fun

What would you be? (from Um Hamza's blog)

If I were a month, I'd be December
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Wednesday
If I were a time of day, I'd be Fajr
If I were a planet, I'd be Venus
If I were an animal, I'd be a dolphin
If I were a direction, I'd be the North
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a daybed
If I were a liquid, I'd be a vanilla milkshake…or hot qahwa
If I were a gemstone, I'd be an Emerald
If I were a tree, I'd be a palm tree
If I were a tool, I'd be a paintbrush
If I were a flower, I'd be a tiger lilly
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be a misty warm rain
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be an Irish flute
If I were a color, I'd be emerald green
If I were an emotion, I'd be impatience
If I were a fruit, I'd be a mandarin orange
If I were a sound, I'd be horses at a race
If I were an element, I'd be oxygen
If I were a car, I'd be a Mustang Convertable
If I were a food, I'd be blackened creole chicken with sauted mushrooms
If I were a place, I'd be Venice
If I were a taste, I'd be cloves and cinnamon
If I were a scent, I'd smell like rain on apple blossoms
If I were an item of clothing, I'd be a gown
If I were a body part, I'd be a heart
If I were a facial expression, I'd be "rolls eyes"
If I were a song, I'd be "an Irish reel"
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be kitten heels
What would you be?

Asalaam alaykom: Personal Update, About Multiple Wives In a Marriage, and BM Online Boutique

Asalaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakato sisters,

I hope you are all in the best of health and imaan. Alhamdulilah, I am into the third month of my pregnancy. The wacko baby hormones have made my skin perfectly clear and dewey, the morning sickness has shrunk my thighs (which no excercise or diet ever seemed to do---and I am not fat to begin with), and my bra size is starting to cause me back pain. I don't know anyone to ask but I hope they shrink back to normal size after the feeding period. [I always hated sisters blogging about icky baby and pregnancy stuff before so am sorry to bore ya'll with the same]. Bad thing is though, seems I am one of those people who will suffer the morning sickness past the three months period, which is rather wretched. The baby is growing though alhamdulilah, so despite my inability to eat a great deal of foods or be a normal person until well after 12:00 pm [I have thus taken time off from working because throwing up isn't very professional] I have a cute baby bump that is apparent though my abaya. I think, I will have to buy more clothes soon, since the abaya pulls at the front and gets tighter on the butt in the back. I will leave this to my husband, since he's the one who'll be picky about that.

Due to my sickness I have been slow to get the Beautiful Muslimah Online Boutique fully running, and I apologize for that. I miss the morning shopping and that leaves only my evenings because shops in Oman close from 1-4pm everyday. And, since my husband shares days between me and my sister-wife, sometimes I elect to spend the night with him instead of the business, and HE HATES when I go to the souq without him (though the mall is okay) as many tailor shops have only men working in them. Please forgive me. My husband's holidays is soon, so I will have way more time, and will want to go to work in the evenings, since we'll spend the whole day together.

About the inqueries I have already recieved I am working on them.

Unto a marriage with more than one;) because I am sure you are all curious (or disgusted, who knows, but we're pretty happy).

The way our marriage works right now is my husband spends 4 days, then 3 days (because of the work week) on rotation with me and my sister wife. We'll call her F from now on. We usually rotate a Monday or a Sunday. She always gets the weekends, as this is easier for my husband, and I usually get weekdays (which was easier for me, because he could drive me to my work and back). But we switch this Monday between us every week so its fair. Also F and I can choose to give up days in order to book a day on the other's time. Also, maybe a day is special to us, like a wedding anniversary ect, or we have an emergancy, or a child's birthday if our husband isn't working. In that case, as they are special occasions, we usually have no qualms giving up our days. Our poor husband has to try and convince us to give up our time for his friends. We like to say we give him one day a month to hang out with his friends each, so that is two days, but this probably isn't enough for him alas. Which is why he says he doesn't have time for a 3rd wife even if we'd ask him to take one.

People always say they can't imagine their husband sleeping with or kissing another woman. Really, to be honest, it isn't a big deal to me or her. We have our special things each. He'll call her something that is meaningless to me, and he'll call me something that I like and makes me feel special. A man's honesty and attention are what a faithful husband is, and he is honest with us, and faithful to us. And if I have pleasure and closeness, I want her to have the same.

The hard thing is the occasional insecurity, feeling like the other wife is more of something or has something that you don't. This is where jealousy can come from. No woman is ever jealous in nature unless she is insecure in nature. Men should know this before they marry another wife. This is the key to where being fair to all comes in, besides in the material provision of wealth and time scheduling. If a man can manage his wives' insecurities honestly, the wives' feelings of having less or being less, there will be no jealousy.

A woman will feel like she is less or that the other wife has more if there is nothing special between her husband and herself. That "romance" quotient, the "wer'e meant for eachother" thing. People reading this will probably feel like that is a contradiction of being fair but we've learnt that it isn't.

Women have different needs, and different things are important to them. To me it is important that my husband thinks I am unique, that he admires my strength but is amused by my weaknesses, and that we share a good friendship and can just hang out for hours. F, she likes romance, to know that she is very feminine, that she is a better cook, to have someone to listen to her. I like to tell my husband stories. I think because F and I have different personalities, it is possible for my husband to love us each as if we are the only one (because we are the only one of our kind) and yet equally. He loves different things in us equally. The only hardship comes when both of us square off for the same love in the same thing. Like, lol, who is sexiest. This, I am sure, he is NEVER 100% honest with us. He'll tell one of us we are more experienced, and the other he'll tell, she's better at a certain thing. So he doesn't lie to either of us, but he isn't stuck in a corner. I think, as long as he gives us his full attention, and gives us equal time, then we feel desired enough that we forget about competing, and we can just be ourselves.

Me and F, we get along good now, though it took a bit of getting used to. I was kind of jealous cuz they both spoke Arabic and I suck at accented Arabic dialects lol but that was stupid, and F was kind of jealous because husband and me spoke a little Irish-Gaelic, and that she obviously didn't know, but neither thing in the end warranted anything and we got over it and laughed at ourselves.

Now, when we are too mad to listen to our husband, or are insecure about something and sad, we phone the other, and other cheers up, because they are usually in a more rational state than us. We both share what we know about Islam, health, and our husband's mood and character, to help the other improve her marriage. Really, it can be wonderful you know? Because if you complain about your husband to your friends, they never forget it, and he's always a creep even if you were wrong lol, and if you complain about him to your family they get involved and it become a mess (in my case, they think Muslim men are bad and Islam was a stupid choice for me). But is you complain about it him to your sister wife, she reassures you if you are right and takes your side and gets angry too, and if you are wrong, she helps you laugh at yourself, and how your husband can at times, be an idiot, even if he is right.

I always kind of wanted my life to be like this (only in the same house) we're a bit far away now due to realestate issues, but inshaAllah next year.

So, yeah, mostly doing good. Just the morning sickness thing getting me down. InshaAllah it ends soon and goes away and stays away:)

Jazzakallah kheir to all my sisters for your kind duas: and some big news

I just wanted to make this post to say jazzakallah kheir to all my sisters for you duas. I had done tests with doctors that said I had no eggs and no hormones it appeared to make them but alhamdulilah....

Pixie is going to have, inshaAllah a BABY!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Hello Lovlies, and Asalaam 3laykom

Dear loyal followers of I Love Hishma:

I have missed you. Really I have. I just have had no internet, went through alot in life, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.

Some of you thought of me as a rolemodel. For a while, I was in no shape to be one. And I never set out to be one. And I don't want to be one. One particular sister out there who was my friend and then gave up on me because I couldn't tell her the whole story: Don't judge, lol. Serriously. You have NO IDEA what some sisters go through.

But I am sorry if I disapointed you to find out I have troubles and deal with them not always to the sunnah. I should, it is best, but I failed.

One's rolemodel should be the Prophet Mohamed SAW and the other Prophets alahi wa salaam, and fashion inspiration can change and change and change, but the women of the Sahaba ROCK my world, more than designer abayas, and they decide my fiqh on make up and what can be shown or not ect...

Also, to tell you my story is to tell you the story of many men and women, and that is not my place, or my desire. Some of you ask. I have 700 unmoderated comments, all questions about my life or about a post and honestly, if you read the whole blog, you know all my opinions about hijab and jilbab ect...

This blog is my strictest beliefs of what I think correct Islam/hijab is. As a person, I am not nearly so unbending, and cultural things DO fascinate me, though I often do not equate them with Islam.

Hijab is an issue in fiqh that I am going to belittle by a silly comparison. This blog, if you read just one post and leave a comment, saying, LET THE UNRLEIGIOUS GIRLS WEAR HIJAB HOW THEY WANT, know, I am with you on that. If you read my whole blog, you would know I believe hijab is more than scarf and it is not a compulsion but an act of faith. Knowledge helps faith though. Sometimes it makes faith harder, because knowledge leads us to ask more questions. Sometimes the answers, if we have faith enough to wait for them, lead us to BELIEF, which is stronger even then faith. One post does not a blogger's opinion make. One rumour does not equal Pixie's life. One hadith does not a fatwa make, nor one ayah, but everything in its order and place in its entirety.

If my life is more important to you that what I have written, even if what I have written about hijab has been true, just because I am certainly not always perfect, then seek a higher example and don't bother with blogs. Read the books that document the source, the inspiration. If truth is more important human failing, know this blog records my strictest opinions. I have never meant to offend anyone. This is the measure I strive to measure to. Sometimes I don't have the strength to stand on my tippy-toes and strain to reach what is just beyond my capabilities but within the height of my knowledge and understanding.

Anyways, I have been writing along with a few other sisters (mainly recording their stories and mixing us all [and also one non-muslim sis who I adore]) on this blog http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/ for a while. Some of you know that.

I am never going to write my whole story. Not because I am ashamed of it but because one cannot tell their life story without invading the privacy of others.

And sister Hayah who I am collecting abayat for, please email me and confirm your address. Also if there are any sisters who can send sis Hayah somlai style khimars (which are definately not worn in Oman) in greys and blacks, leave a comment, let me know, and I will tell you where to send them by email.

Jazzakallah kheir and much love to you all.

Up to 541 unmoderated comments, ughhhhhhhh

Soooooooooooooooooooooo Pixie UPDATE:


I am in Oman. [Most of my loyal readers and blog friends know this] I came to the Gulf to find halal employment. My old job was in a bank. That dealt in riba. Soooo... Yes Y [my Saudi husband for those that are unfamiliar with the blog], I know you don't want me to bother with ANY personal information, but people back home, ummmmm, I didn't leave my husband because I didn't like him?! WTH? LOL, some of the gossip people engage in is really funny. It is like that children's game, Telephone, where you whisper something in one person's ear and it comes back to you after passing a circle and it is sooooooooooo messed up, lol, is nothing like what you originally said at all?


I came here because I wanted to have an easier life, I mean, be able to wear niqab even if I want and walk down the street like that is normal. Y had to stay in Canada. Our life was there, and yes, lol, I winced out of the hard stuff. But alhamdulilah, after Ramadaan Y can come here.


I know some crazy stuff happened with Aalia (anyone gossiping about her or taking joy in her current sit. you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond messed up and Allah guide you and take pity on you, ameen) and people I think are mixing us, because we have been BFF for a long time, & because of what I said in relation to Aalia's current situation over at "Chasing Jannah." I am in a totally different situation than Aalia so please don't try and "guess" or be "suspicious" of what, lol, I didn't come to you and say? It's REALLY annoying. My life is going great, alhamdulilah, and it has been a challenge, and I've had to think about what is really important, ie what I need out of life and what makes a marriage and where to live ect, but those are normal things for any mature person. I am sorry I don't share much beyond my general spot on the globe. I used to blog alot and realized it had become a pressure, and alot of people wanted to know about my personal life. Those I am close with well even them I keep some things private from.

Some people were flat out mean. What they said wasn't true so I don't even have to mention it. You mixing people and places. LOL, some of the gossip was great. Now I will never watch Celeb gossip shows again. Of any kind. I feel bad for them. I no longer have a TV or a regularily accesible computer or a CD player and you know what, I am so happy LOL.

Anyways, the point of this post is to say, I have retired from major daily fashion posting. I still love fashion and hijab but don't have the energy to make sets and surf the net for pics. I said everything I believe is important to be said about hijab all the ways I could say it.

As for Islam, I studying Surah Al Baqarah right now, memorizing it in English and Arabic and studying the tasfeer around it. It takes me a whole day to memorize and understand 1 ayah? Well, lol, so what?! There aren't as many ayaat in Al Bakarah as there are days in the year so if I manage 1 a day in 1 year I'll have learnt quite alot. I would like to post on this all eventually. And finish writing a "Girl's Guide to Islam" but I am quite busy just living and being happy and being thankful to Allah for all that He subhanhu wa ta'ala has provided.

491 Unmoderated Comments, OH DEAR!!!!

Asalaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto dearest sisters (and extroidinarily LOYAL followers):

I have been AWOL. I have 491 unmoderated comments! I don't know what to start with. I still don't have a computer so please forgive me, I don't like to go to internet cafes.

As for my personal life, I have settled quite nicely in Oman. I have a beautiful villa in a safe neighborhood (as opposed to before) and Y is coming in Ramadaan. Boxie will be back unless we marry her off.

I got offered a job in the abaya industry and in journalism here but for some reason where I am working right now just seemed more right. I am focussing less on dawah and more on educating myself (forgive all LOL, it is one of the blessings of being in the Gulf). But I still get to give dawah, ironically, to born Muslims.

I truly do love Oman. It is peaceful here.

A unique thing I have learnt about the country is the types of Islam practiced here. The main population of Oman practices Ibhadhi Islam, a small small minority are Shia (mainly in Mutrah area), and the Sunnis tend to be from Sur (Sharqiyah region). So I have had the oppurtunity to study Shia sources and Ibhadhi ones. I still hold fast to believing my readings in the Sunnah carry more weight and the basic principles of Shiaism to me are very wrong (also the history of the Saudi Royal Family makes me soooooo mad about what they practice as 'sunnah'). One of my friends who is shia got kicked in the head on hajj for using her clay stone. I of course think the use of the stone a bida but kicking someone ( a little girl of 8!!!!) in the head????? HOW IS THAT GOING TO CHANGE HER MIND? MAKE HER MINDLESS maybe... Grrrr.

Anyways, love Oman, will try to post more regularily. I have just taken a vacation from blogging. Please forgive!

Love always,
-Pixie

Modesty is More than Clothes

On this blog sisters have often criticized me for being "too judgemental" when I have written articles on the different aspects of hijab, and intentions for wearing hijab. One can look at posts such as "are the feet awrah" "is niqab mustahaab or wajib" or "cover your chest!" and be like, WHOA, THIS SISTA IS HARSH."

LOL, if only you knew me, he he he, I've never been one to point out a girl on the street and be like, "omigod does she think those leggings are jilbab"- "gadzooks, check out the makeup on that niqabi"- or yell "put some clothes on" to a non-muslim woman in an Arab country, though sometimes I admit, I do a double take. Cleavage with hijab distracts, as well as seeing butt cheeks go up and down in abaya, or fake eyelashes and plucked brows and glittery shadow with niqab. I just go, what is the point but... But to me judging or yelling at people or talking behind their backs---that's bad hijab too. Worse sometimes than another sister's mistake. Maybe when we are being harsh, it is because something is lacking in ourselves and the offensive is our defence?!!!!

No, what I have written, while filtered in my own personal leanings, is directed firstly to myself. it is directed to any woman like myself, who has a love of halal things like design and colour but who wants to hear what the sunnah says, what the examples in the seerah show us. When I am writing "Allah says this is best for us, or a must for us," or "this is what women of the sahaba wore because..." I am not saying any woman who doesn't understand or agree with that is bad or worse, subhanaAllah! LOL, okay, I guess it isn't really funny, but the way people read what we write and miss why we are writing us funny sometimes. Sometimes I get offended when people don't understand me, and I have to realize, hey, I do the same sometimes so be patient and wait, making the best excuses for it.

For me personally, I like hearing nasiha (Islamic advice) about hijab with daleel (evidence from the Qu'ran and Sunnah) from a sister in a non-embarrassing one-on-one conversation, where she's sweet and thoughtful about it. How else do we learn about Islam? I DO apologize, I can't do that online, really LOL. Anyways, then if I think the sister's advice to be wrong, and I disregard it, I prefer her not to nag me about it. If I disregard it and she thinks that's she's right, she should pray for my guidance from Allah. That's the way to do it in person. That is the Islamic way.

Of course, blogs like mine, since they generally aren't directed at any one person I believe it is entirely okay to post multiple hijab posts on a similar issue. It isn't nagging or picking on anybody. If one has a different opinion, they may blog about it on their blog, of course. It is sharing/storing information, even if it is for myself, or others seeking what I learnt after making some mistakes first LOL.

I have discovered that, sadly, in real life women that wear niqabs and gashwas can call down other women in the malls for wearing tight clothes with hijab or girls with no hijabs or Islam at all, but then, have worse hijab in actions and even in dress, on a different day.

When I see girls in ridiculously tight abayas or lack or khimar and jilbab, I don't think I am better than them, and I don't click my tongue at them an go "ayb". I don't know their intentions and the extent of their religious knowledge and the state of their imaan. I simply know that with my understanding my clothing might fulfill the requirements of the Qu'ran better than my skinny-jeans wearing sister in Islam, or my non-hijabi girlfriend. And while I know my clothing meets the requirements of the shariah and theirs does not, clothing alone does not equate modesty. My girl Hanoony has no headscarf but she is of a more modest strain than I am, and Boxie, who used to have a thing for her skinnies, now has simply abayaat than mine, and she doesn't wear make-up, and she doesn't talk as loud in public as I do.

So I know if we work to improve our knowledge about hiojab for ourselves, and our personalities, and we advise eachother in real-life instead of randomly pointing some chicas out in the mall, and pray for eachother' guidance, then the state of our imaan (faith) and the pressure we feel as women in Islam, will balance out. It may be hard, but it isn't that hard, lol.

Sorry I haven't written in a long time. I just haven't been into fashion (strange, I know!). I've had some personal issues and still no internet source. Forgive me those of you who have been loyal readers and forgive me also those of you who think of me as a know-it-all. Serriously, if I've offended you in the past, ever, I extend an invitation- if you're ever in Muscat, Oman I'll pay for tea or coffee and show you the woman between the lines of the blog and make ammends by being by being other than what I am able to communicate in type.

May Allah guide us all, and keep us on the straight path, ameen.

Update

Salaam alaykom everyone! So sorry I haven't been blogging. My life has been a whirlwind of adventures, misadventures, lol, and private things, also, I haven't had internet. I want you to know I am safe, and happy, and will start blogging in a few months. So please forgive the lack of updates. I wish you a happy belated Eid, and the best imaan and health for you and your families.

Hirjah

a poem about a short experience in UAE

HIRJAH

Skin so pale
Why the veil?
A choice that I make
Not to break
Ties with my ancestors
Forebears of these shores.
Go back to your country!
What kind of effrontery
Is this attack on ethnicity
What kind of duplicity
A mere headscarf?
Worn around the neck
Like Alek Wek
On a catwalk?
So different from my walk?

So I make hirjah
No more ninja "hi ya!"
"Is it halloween yet?"
Or "nigger", I'll never forget
But what for?
To stand on foreign shore
Men, hunting, predator---
The jahililiya before---
Almost more pure.
I watch you drink in Shaytaan
On your desert lawn
As if your demons were sweeter than melon.
And Virtue is a disrespectful felon.
I recklessly laugh: Go learn Islam?!
Hypocrite, am I dressed for ayaat or pslam?

Where is Shariah?
My people taunt, make "Hirjah"
But they are more my people
Minuret or steeple
For at least there Muslim men are men
Mohammed, Chad and Ben.
They don't hide behind their flags
From the Will of God. Who nags
Come to prayer
You "Muslim" "player"
While you bother young girls.
Mustang twirls.
Music bleats vainly.
Thobe and ghutra I have witnessed plainly.
Here is a Muslim land, they play the adhan.

But when is the echo answered?
I have made my hirjah.
Toured your Masjids and your malls.

I have yet to see a Muslim man.

For Now....

Back at "said" skeezy internet cafe (not the skeeziest to be had apparently). Due to some drama in a week and a day or so I will be in Oman (inshaAllah). Make dua for me. It'll be interesting. Plus, from there we will finally start taking orders for abayaat. That we will ship to ya'll the best way possible. So... until I get set up in my home, we will wait and see....

Love Pixie

Pure Pixie: here and in Canada +niqab of course!

Everything in this collage I really own except for the patent heels---those are flats in my day to day as I walk a few kilometers every night and every morning. The abaya with ruched satin sleeves is from http://www.sunnahstyle.com/product_info.php?pName=ruched-satin-sleeved-butterfly-abaya&cName=abayas-butterfly for $49.99 USD and it is soooooo easy to wear. I like to wear maxi dresses or coloured jeans (grey, pink, purple, green and yellow). I have a crummy scratched up pink motorolla cellohone and white rimmed sunglasses, and always keep my earrings on the big and dangling side under my hijab. I just bought this Betsey Johnson purse today (for about a quarter of its current retail value) and a matching pink keffiyah ($10.00 bucks that CAD). My beauty regime: I like mousse concealer in ivory, chocolate scented shampoo, pink eye shadow, sometimes an eyebrow pencil and that is it for day. Not the most awesome outfit, but something I like and am comfy in.

Dear Random Anonymous Islam-hating blog stalker

Dear Random Anonymous Islam-hating blog stalker:

For your comment "Stop Oppression Against Women" ...I do. You wrote "hahahahah respect?you get respect from men by covering yourself up? this is insane, do you believe it yourself? i hope not.don't you understand what you are doing? you are supporting oppression against women! men tell women to cover themselves up to gain respect. and you believe in it..lame." Well Anon, I gew up not covering and now I do cover, and non muslim men DO give me more respect so I feel my point is proven ALREADY. If you have doubts and you are an attractive young woman, find a pretty pink headscarf and a plain comfy black shoulder abaya, and wear it at your work for a month. You'll see a difference in the way the men treat you. You won't need any other proof. But even beyond that, I LIKE what I am wearing. I could says that sunglasses are more uncomfortable for me than a face veil, that skinny jeans are waaaay more misognynist than an abaya, and that high heels are DEFINATELY more uncomfortable and suppressive of a woman's ability to do sports or accomplish things than a headscarf. I like my clothes. Get over it. If I wasn't a Muslim and I told you the same thing (because I dressed this way BEFORE I was Muslim too because I found I liked it) would you believe it? Ask ex pat women living in Dubai? Most of them try out the charm and ease of abaya once in a while. I personally dress in a way that I want to---I feel pretty, modest, and comfortable in my clothes, no one forces me to wear them, and I do not force others. I do not support laws enforcing hijab. Hijab is a personal thing, between a woman and God, her Creator. If you don't believe in God, well then my blog probably isn't for you, but you have to understand all Muslims believe the Qu'ran is directly from God, and that books like the Bible and Torah are also sources (though we believe the Qu'ran is the only direct and uncorrupted source).


"Yeah girls are so pretty when men tell them what to wear. Independent girls are ugly Oppressed women are cute. " Personally anon, I go by the dictionary definition of suppressed, which is, those who have no choice are suppressed. Honestly I think alot of the girls forced to wear blue Afghan chadors with mesh (aka the burqa) were suppressed and I feel sad for them. Nothing in Islam ENFORCES hijab. So Taliban hijab style is waaaaaaay wrong. But a woman that chooses to wear a niqab and an abaya from her own beliefs and does so in a way I find pretty, 'course I'm gonna say her style is cute. But some sad looking singer rubbing her half-naked body on a bunch of dancers in a music video to sell more CDS when her own talent is enough to, I am going to say that is a kind of suppression too. It is like Elizabeth Taylor. Everyone loved her when she was young and beautiful and now she is overweight and in a wheel chair and that same media that loved her makes jokes about her??? Being enslaved to youth, form, and beauty is another kind of suppression, one hijab (from one's own choice and conviction) frees you from.

You commented "It is said in the qoran that a woman shall never get attention with jewelleries and make up. So why are you wearing islamic oppression-sheets when you are not muslims- apparently?" Why do you care for details and decoration when you are told to cover yourself up with blankets?It is said in the qoran that you shall not ask for attention. Then do not and be a woman." Um, anon, do you mean abayas??? If you've even worn one, you'll know they are as comfortable as pajamas, and not opressive at all. That's why so many ex-pat women in the Gulf are happy to wear them, running errands, under no compulsion, and not even for any religious reason. As for wearing jewelry and make-up and designs on clothing, nowhere in the Q'uran does it tell us not to do anything of things you claim it forbids in another one of your awesomely educated. Women in the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu alahi wa salaam's time used to wear makeup in the form of henna and kohl (both of which he encouraged), he also complimented a woman for the pretty but simple designs on her garment which shows that some design is OBVIOUSLY allowed in Islam, and jewelry? Women in Islam are allowed to wear gold and men are not. Women in the early days of Islam wore anklets that made alot of noise and attracted some sensual attention when the women danced or stamped their feet with the purpose of attracting that attention. The Q'uran commanded those women not to stamp their feet, it never forbid them from wearing jewelry. Educate yourself darling, please, because you come across as ignorant, hateful, and still wanting to do good for women at the same time.

Am I a savage? You are thinking like men of the old world did with the native Americans when they discovered the New world. That you need to SAVE me, by taking away my way of life, my freedom to believe in peace. I don't need you or anyone else to think for me or rescue me. I am not suppressed/repressed/ OR oppressed. In Islam sexuality is for a time and place where it is protected, A STABLE AND MATURE LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE BOTH LEGALLY PROTECTED (financially and logically) THAT BOTH PARTIES AGREE TO AND OUTLINE THE DETAILS THEREOF.

To your question "do you dress modest at home or flaunt about in an evening dress?" If I am by myself and just want to play dress up, or it is a special occasion with close women friends who won't feel any emotion but pride in my apearence praising Allah for my sake, or I want to look nice for my family who will also be happy if I look beautiful and can afford nice things, then I will wear an evening dress, or jeans and a tshirt, OR pajamas, or a modest jalabiyia. It is up to me. Islam is not a religion that says do something, such as feign piety or change everything you are, for no reason. Allah Himself has said, that He is beautiful and loves beauty. What God doesn't love is the kind of human pride that is to make other human beings feel less of themselves. No man or woman that feels even a dust grain's weight of this kind of belittling pride will enter paradise (aka heaven). If there unrelated men present, I'll wear hijab---of course, or if there are those women who will feel less because of something I can physically wear because of an attractive physical attribute or financial means that they could never attain, I will dress in a way that we are equal sisters.

Part of the Islamic dress code is that it promotes a brotherhood and sisterhood that marks men and women equal but for their piety and good deeds. We are also supposed to be obviously recognizable as Muslims, not resembling pagans, Jews, and Christians, which is, women cover their chests with the headscarf, and wear an overgarment over their regular clothes while not trying to get male attention by wearing over-the-top makeup and tight clothing or jingling their jewelry or strong perfumes, and men wear loose fitting clothing that covers their belly-button to thighs and best the shoulders and have beards at LEAST a fist length long and do not wear gold or silk or anything that shows financial and social status in public (that can nowadays include flaunting fancy cars and gold pens and rolexs---remember, the Prophet sallalalhu alahi wa salaam, when as Caliph, he could have ridden the finest horses of the Arabs, he rode a donkey).

Keeping Things Interesting and a min rant

Salaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto all:

So we've been having some internet troubles---i.e we have no internet, neither Boxie or Aalia or me, so I have gone to this skeezy smoky internet cafe in a rat infested mall (not one of the hip Abu Dhabi ones I assure you---here there are a bunch of Emirati creepers skipping school with boushiya'ed bad girls (when they can afford to date the bad girls lol)) soooooo, sorry for the lack of cool posts, or me replying to comments, or even posting comments in the moderation section.

Other than lack of internet, there's been some interesting things. I have learned that alot of (local) girls here wear abaya inappropriately, open, with tights, super high heels, skinny jeans, or even mini skirts and cleavage and belly-button bearing tops underneath. The shayla can consist of the pouf clip and the shayla just draped there, neck and hair showing. Or the girls wear stylish abayas and gashwas that conceal everything but then lift the gashwa at cute local (Emirati) guys and give out phone numbers. Um, a hijab don't ladies. And all this just kinda makes one go, the hijab is better at my local Canadian masjid, and some of the sisters don't even wear the headscarf. I DO belive jilbab and khimar is fard, and that face covering is mustahaab (yaaaay I am a full-time niqabi now!!!!!), but here, the existance of abaya, sheila, and niqab can still mean that hijab is lacking in intention and adab.

For instance, near Al Marina Mall last night, walking home from the Emirati Heritage Center, Aalia, Boxie, baby, and me, saw a set of two prostitutes, one was Iranian, and the other was Sudanese. We know because we asked. The Iranian working girl wore open abayas with jeans and heel underneath. Her bangs her styled neatly out. The Sudanese prostitute wore a closed but somewhat fitted abaya and hijab that covered all her hair, but her sleeves were pushed up to reveal alot of bracelets. They looked stylish, I suppose, with a few tweaks here and there, they could have been very modestly attired women. But their intention was to stroll up and down the somewhat secluded beach front near the marina, while their pimp in the red vehichle (her "brother" and his friends) watched and spoke to the local Emirati creepers who made loops around the area. Groooooooooooooosssss!!!!!

And I won't even go into some of the non-Emirati hijab fashion in the malls. I have seen less camel-toes and butt cheeks in Canadain malls on non-muslims without scarfs on their heads!!!!!!

Of course, alhamdulilah, there alot of women, mashaAllah, Syrian, Lebanese, Morrocan, and Emirati, with great hijab, and great style, that still adhere to the shariah, and alot of niqabis with good adab, alhamdulilah. I just get mad at those who abuse the dress of a Muslim woman, the dress of the Prophet's wives and the women of the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) and make a mockery of it, leading our non-hijabi Muslim sisters to say, why bother with hijab?

My New Shaylas

This one is from Abu Haleeqa and was waaaay over-priced but I fell for the cute kiwi and ruffles (which didn't photograph well) and splurged.
And this one is from Al Gwatwa (think I am spelling it right) and I love it cuz of the lace. It was affordable.

WE'VE ARRIVED

Alhamdulilah, today I woke up hearing the fajr the adhan. Boxie (see her blog here and go to her profile for her travel diary http://and4somethingdifferent.blogspot.com/) and I have been here a few days now (since the 21st) and I LOOOOOOOVE the adhan so much. But ya'll already know that. For those of you that didn't (until now) hearing the adhan is what led me to Islam.

We are staying with our girl Aalia (from her blog Chasing Jannah). She met us at the airport stylishly attired, in a (stylishly tailored but not-too-tight) plain black front-opening abaya from "First Lady", a flash of a pink satin skirt at the ankles appearing with every kick of her foot's step. Gashwa down over her eyes and the corner of her pink satin trimmed shayla styled to hang down the back gracefully down from the pouf of the gashwa. She got my text from the plane saying that we'd be late and wanted to know why...

to read the rest of the story, follow this link http://desertdiaryuae09.blogspot.com/2009/09/weve-arrived.html

What is going on now?

Since I am moving to the Gulf, I started a little travel journal called "My Desert Diary-Pixie Addition" (he he he, Aalia), which Aalia can totally amalgomate into her own after we come back to Canada (when our trip is done I'll delete it). If you click on my profile it is there under my blog links. Boxie started one too. I am too lazy to post the link, since it is there under my profile. I also decided, since the shortage of posts, to start posting all the Khaleeji related posts from BM. Hope you like!

WHY I haven't been posting

For those have you who have been following ILOVEHISHMA, you'll know that its author, Pixie, has been overloaded with packing for her move to UAE (short-term), switching flats back in Canada, and planning her (aka mine) Canadian civil service wedding (along with attending iftars and studying Islam during Ramadan). Soooo, I am glad to announce, alhamdulilah, the civil service is done, and I am officially lawfully married. These are some of the pictures from our special day. DO NOT RE-POST THEM ANYWHERE ON THE NET WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Grrrr, lol. So, I sewed my own dress (it cost a total of $30.00 CAD but took over sixteen hours to make). Its a bit old fashioned and has a vinatgey feel to it. I hand beaded smoky topaz coloured swarowski crystals and seed-pearls on the lace applique, made my own veil out of tulle and silk and a vintage necklace, and borrowed Boxie's lacy embroidered hijab from Kuwait.I also gained ten lbs (alhamdulilah cuz I was a bit too underweight for a while and was starting to look like a prepubescent boy) before cutting the dress, so it was a little more modest when I began (since I didn't have curves lol) so if I had it to do over, I would loosen the waist seems and cut the belt, but since it was women and my family mainly, it wasn't really any big deal. But Boxie had fun doing me up and pulled a muscle (my Dad had to help lol). My sister Jane wore a Tiffany-box blue dress and pearls, and Boxie (I'll post a pic maybe later) wore hat hijab and looked oh-so fine in purple. My Daddy wore a tie for the first time since his own wedding way back, and the guests were a mix of formal and informal. LOL, one of the couples who attended were the owners of the school where my husband and I met, and they had brought a guest from Taiwan to show her a "traditional" Canadian wedding, and we all joked that she'd be rather confused because my wedding included, suit and tie, jeans and a t-shirt, thobe, salwar kameez, hijab, and white wedding dress, lol.

Explaining Canadian traditions (like smooshing cake into the face of the groom) to one Saudi sister, made her (and Y) quite horrified. Needless to say I left off on the cake smooshing. Mainly since my wedding cake was ice cream cake. That'd be a bit cruel. But I had fun, mainly taking pics before the getting together of everyone. Preparing the food in full formal wear was a bit stressful though. And the groom forgetting the marriage liscence and having to drive an hour into the city to go get it lol. ANNNNND the wedding cake melting because of this, so it had to be served up in one big bowl, lol. Icecream cakes do not make good wedding cakes ya'll, lol, even if they are yummy, he he he. So inshaAllah your Ramadan is going well, and I hope to write more soon inshaAllah.

Mid Ramadaan Post

Salaam alaykom ramatullah wa barakto. InshaAllah all of you are having a peaceful and rewarding Ramadaan. I know I am. As such, I haven't been on the blog or replying to comments all that much so unless I do an Islamic study on my own time that you ladies might be interested in too, the only thing I'll be posting this month are things (such as fashion sets) I have already saved on the laptop. Mainly to clear it off, because after this Eid I'll be off to the Gulf with a new lap top (and my girls) where we hope to do alot more street style, lol. So hope you don't mind. I will get through going through comments at the end of Ramdaan, inshaAllah. Thank you for taking the time to make them!